


Life Rises From The Embers

by Mayamelissa



Series: Life is a Pheonix [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:26:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6193198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayamelissa/pseuds/Mayamelissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Not Over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He has been dreaming of her far more than he should be lately.

Even in uthenera memories of her evaded his slumber, pushed away to a locked corner of his mind. Because she had brought him the most joy in life, when she was killed failing to protect Mythal… The Veil being raised had been the kinder alternative.

Millennia passed since that day in the temple as he held what was left of her body, his joy at her news for him mere hours earlier decimated by the sorrow of her death.

No record remained of her. No legend of her among the Dalish as he had made sure no one could remember her in this time. They would not know of the day every citizen in Arlathan cried out in anguish at her death -  an event that had not even occurred upon Mythal’s murder. She had no temples. No statues. No places of worship or a palace because she claimed they only served as a step towards forgetting.

“We are not Gods, my love,” she would tell him as she tended to her garden. “No matter how powerful we may be. We are still flesh and blood. Bone and brain.”

Mythal’s death may have been what caused his rebellion, but her death and the reminder of what he had lost through their actions, through their fights and squabbles, was what fueled his rage. He could still feel her blood when he closed his eyes, even during times he could convince himself it was nothing but a trick of the mind.

Mileena.

A jewel of Arlathan and favored of Mythal. She was second only to the All Mother with her ability to calm the tensions between the Enavuris and to coax them into harmony. In fact, Mythal would often call upon her to help resolve problems when the All Mother was busy. She always knew exactly the right thing to say or do to defuse it all.

She could have chosen any of the others to bond with, and he wonders still if she would have lived and how things would have happened if she had chosen Dirthamen or Falon’Din or June instead of him.

Why he dreams now of her milky white skin and small slender frame, her eyes of dark deep blue and hair the blackest of black, he cannot say. He cannot answer why he remembers everything so vividly now after so long. Why he suddenly wakes most nights with her name upon his lips, feeling her presence as if she had been sleeping next to him.

He cannot answer these things.

He cannot find the answers in the Fade.

He cannot stop them from happening more and more.

And the Dread Wolf fears. 


	2. Chapter 2

Cordelia was going to go insane.

She was tired of being on bedrest. For the last month, she had been ordered by almost literally everyone to stay in bed. Even Holliday had been against her getting up, and the dwarf was supposed to be on her side.  _ The traitor _ , Cordelia thought in humorous indignation.

They’d kept busy. Vivienne went from wedding preparations to baby preparations with unrivaled grace. A corner of her and Cullen’s chambers had been made up especially for the expected bundle of joy. Whom they had learned not too long after the wedding was going to be a girl, thanks to Solas knowing a spell he’d picked up from the Fade.

Dorian practically covered every inch of Skyhold with anti-demon and counterspells to protect the expected arrival from harm. Sera had taken to sneaking Cordelia food, which possibly did not help lower her feeling like a bloated druffallo. Bull and the Chargers had been actively out on assignments, especially in these last few months. They and the Inquisition’s forces were taking on more roles since she was temporarily out of commission. 

Blackwall had made them a bassinet, a beautifully carved number that Cordelia preferred over that Orlesian number Vivienne had tried to give them. She’d managed to defuse the situation by agreeing that they would let an Orlesian crib be the infant’s bed once it grew old enough.

“What’s an odd duck?” Cole asked as he sat in the room with her. The larger she got, the more he had spent time talking to her and speaking stories to the baby. Things about flowers, and the ocean, and how he did not understand how she felt like a bloated druffalo when she had never been one. He would come and put flower crowns on Cordelia’s head.

At first, Cullen and the others were more than a little against him. Actually, highly against his being close to her. However, since he in fact easily cleared the test of demon or spirit, they left it alone. They altogether stopped worrying about his presence when he managed to kill at least two assassins who had been hired to end her life.

She looked up from her knitting at him. His ability to read minds was fascinating, if a little disturbing depending on what he unearthed. “Well I’m not quite certain where it came from, but basically it’s a duck that doesn’t act like other ducks,” Cordelia explained.

“But I’m not a duck.”

“Yes, Cole. I know,” she said with a smile as she went back to finishing up the socks she was making. Cole slowly went over to the bedside and looked at the light blue wool foot coverings. “He will like them,” the boy said. “His feet get cold.”

Cordelia nodded, knowing he was speaking of Cullen. The man had gone without a lot of things, and she caught him trying to fix more than one hole in his clothes by himself instead of letting someone else do it. “Aggravation with his actions, and yet love him so much it hurts. How can it be this good? Soft, safe. His lips kissing you in the morning, and on your belly. Happiness: a blanket that shelters and protects from the nightmares. You make each other happy, and she is happy because of it.”

Cordelia let out a breathy laugh as Cole looked at her belly. “Not quite yet,” he said. “The healer said you have to stay in there another week at least.” He looked up at Cordelia, his pale blue eyes concerned. “She wants to come out. Wants to see the world and experience it again with her new eyes and new hands. Everything new, and yet familiar.”

Cordelia frowned. This was not the first time Cole had spoken of her baby as such. And after one particular conversation, Solas had yet to return to see her. “A calm storm, raging for thousands of years. She died protecting the Mother. This is her chance to be with him once more. Oh!” He blinked and looked at her worriedly. “I’m sorry. I spoke wrong again. Everyone doesn’t like it when I speak about these things.”

Cordelia knew he meant no harm in it, but it was still unnerving. Plus, the last thing she wanted was to have Vivienne go on a rant again about how he might be speaking to demons who wished to possess her child. Cole disappeared as they heard her door open, and Josephine announce her entering the chambers.

“Afternoon, your grace,” the Antivan greeted cheerfully. “And how are you and the little one feeling today?”

“We’re doing well, but according to Cole, she is desperate to leave the comfort of her current residence. And from the back pain and how much I want to get out of bed, I am more than willing to agree.”

Josephine smiled. “Well at least you can be certain that she will be the safest infant in all of Thedas when ever she arrives. As well as one of the most loved. After the latest attempt on your lives, Holliday and Cullen have increased patrols outside the walls and on the grounds. And Cole-”

“I’ve been helping. Reading minds and hearts,” the boy declared softly from the corner of the room, holding one of the stuffed toys. Josephine nodded slowly, still more than a little unnerved by his presence. “Skyhold is more secure than the Winter Palace at Saturnalia. And speaking of which… We managed to secure an invitation to the Peace Talks being held by Empress Celene. It will be in about three months which, Maker willing, will give you more than enough time to be reasonably combat ready once more should anything happen-” Cordelia was suddenly feeling odd as Josephine spoke. The look on her face must have alerted the ambassador that something was amiss. “Um, is there something wrong?”

Cordelia looked confused and a little embarrassed as warmth and wetness spread between her legs. Being this far along was rather annoying when it came to the baby unexpectedly jumping on her bladder. “I’m afraid I need ring up one of the maids. I...just had an accident,” the Inquisitor said with a slight blush. 

“She said sorry.”

Cordelia and Josephine looked at Cole who hid his face beneath the brim of his hat. “She couldn’t wait anymore. Too many things to do. She's sorry it's a little early.”

“What do you…” Josephine started to ask the question, but Cordelia no longer heard her as realization hit from Cole’s words. 

That was her water breaking, and now it was time. 


	3. Chapter 3

“You must breathe, Inquisitor.” Cordelia knew Josephine was only trying to help, but it wasn't helping. Cassandra simply stood there, her hand in Cordelia’s as she squeezed it like she might break the Seeker’s fingers.

With each contraction, the old midwife would tell her to push. Cordelia was tired of pushing. Hours had drug on, the tightening in her abdomen becoming more frequent until she was finally ready. They reassured her the baby would come soon, but it was not soon enough.

“If Elias wasn’t already dead, I would kill him for this,” she groaned as Josephine wiped her the sweat from her forehead with moist rag. “How do women do this more than once in their lives?!”

She felt another contraction, and the midwife looked up from her place between Cordelia’s legs. “Alright, Lady Inquisitor! Looks like this might be the last one… Now, take a deep breathe!”

Oh, she was so going to murder the next person who told her that, she vowed as she inhaled deeply.

“And push! That’s it! Good!”

There was a moment of silence before a shrieking wail echoed throughout the room. Cordelia fell against the pillows, utterly and completely exhausted. “You have a daughter, My Lady,” the midwife declared as she held up the baby. “And she looks absolutely perfect.” Josephine helped the midwife clean and swaddle the baby before handing her to Cassandra, who looked at her with a smile.

“She does indeed,” the Seeker confirmed warmly before gently giving the crying babe to it’s very exhausted, but extremely happy mother. Cordelia gazed in awe at her new daughter. Her hands were so tiny, and she had black whisps of hair on her little head. Hair that a certain Qunari mercenary had sworn would be on her baby’s head given how much indigestion she’d had. “Well it looks like a lot of people owe Bull money now,” she joked.

Cassandra grimaced, knowing it wasn’t money that she now owed the Iron Bull. “And this is exactly why one should never make bets when they are intoxicated. Even if it was under celebratory circumstances. I am never going to live this down.” Cordelia chuckled at the Seeker before looking back down at her daughter. “Josephine, would you get Cullen and Holliday for me?” she asked softly.

The Ambassador agreed with a smile and left.

Barely two minutes later, the door burst open and Cullen sprinted up the stairs looking anxious. “Commander Cullen,” Cordelia said with a wide grin. “Would you like to say hello to your daughter?”

Cullen nodded, dumbstruck as he walked over to bedside where his wife handed him the tiny bundle. She was more beautiful than he could have ever thought. “Hello, little one,” he said softly, tears brimming up. “I’m your Papa.”

Cordelia felt her eyes water at the sight. It was even more heart wrenchingly wonderful than the vision she’d had all those months ago when she was unconscious. _It looks like you win another one, Elias,_ she thought affectionately. _You smug sod. I hope you’re enjoying yourself._

And she was very certain he was. The man always did like to be right when it came to her.

“We hadn’t settled on a name yet,” Cullen said as he sat on the edge of the bed, very careful in his holding and cradling. “But I think I figured it out. Let’s name her Elisa.” Cordelia looked up at him in surprise. “I want her to have more than your memories of him. The more I got to know about him, the more I think I would have liked him. And if she can share his name in some way, then…” He trailed off as he looked at the baby. “He shouldn’t be forgotten.”

She choked back a sob. “Well then, Elisa Lyan Rutherford. So she never forgets where she came from, or the man who she will call Father.” Cullen had been staring intently at the bundle in his arms, but his head snapped up as his piercing gold eyes met hers. There was a look in his eyes, a deep love, more than she had ever known. Cordelia was elated that she could inspire those feelings in him.

“Maker have mercy, I’m going to need a tissue if we keep this up.” Everyone suddenly noticed the dwarf standing awkwardly in the corner. Holliday honestly looked like she might start crying at any moment, and Cordelia was shocked to see the Spymaster in such a state.

“Lady Holliday, would you like to..?” Cullen allowed the question to trail off, and the dwarf nodded slowly as her eyes shone in the firelight. Cordelia had grown close to Holliday in the last few months, and she was glad her friend was present during the greatest day of her life.

The babe cooed as the Spymaster gently took her from Cullen’s arms. Her face softened as she looked down at the little one, a ridiculous grin on her lips that she normally only wore when around Krem. “She’s so beautiful, Cordelia. I am happy, for both of you.”

Cordelia had to admit that she had never felt such joy as her friends...no wait, as her _family_ stood around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws confetti* happy birthday to my first baby character! Let's hope I don't fuck her life up too much.


	4. Chapter 4

Baby Elisa’s birth was celebrated throughout Skyhold. And with the influx of gifts and notices of congratulations, it was as if Saturnalia had come early. If she had thought her Inner Circle had been cautious and attentive before well… Cordelia was glad she had been blessed enough to choose wisely.

There was at least one of them in the room with her if Cullen wasn’t there. Sera might complain about how babies usually smelled awful, but that wasn’t stopping her from wanting to hold the infant. “When do ya think she’ll be old enough to eat cookies?” the blond asked. “I mean- I know she ain’t old enough yet, but she will be someday, yeah?”

The Iron Bull might have given everyone a heart attack when he held Elisa for the first time. The babe was small enough to fit comfortably inside one of his hands and despite his strength, the gentleness he displayed was beyond heart warming. Indeed, she was sure Cassandra had felt a particular surge of affection grow after watching the huge Qunari handle Elisa. Whether or not it stayed there after a certain dwarf reminded them of how much money Bull had won from his bet on the baby having hair? Well… they would see.

Josephine was a flurry of activity, but that wasn’t going to stop her from coming to see “the Bambino Principessa” as she had taken to calling Elisa. Holliday had told Cordelia in confidence that Josephine had been secretly working with a few members of the Inner Circle on Elisa’s future rooms in Skyhold, and the ambassador herself had brought in several dolls to add to the collection of toys that the youngling would play with when she became old enough.

But for all the wonderful things happening, there was also two problems in regards to her daughter that kept Cordelia from feeling content. The first one wasn’t a problem to anyone else but Cordelia apparently. The Inquisitor knew it should not be a problem. It made her feel undeniably racist that this continued to make her feel uneasy. But the truth was simple:

Her daughter had elf ears.

They were adorable and much tinier than other elven babies ears, but the small perfect points on the tips were still there. And Cordelia was afraid for her daughter, or more specifically, what people would begin to whisper about her once she got older. She knew they were from her side, but how it managed to skip her and go to her daughter, she could not fathom. 

Solas was no help. He was always busy doing something. This was the man she had considered her haren and closest friend since this whole mess started. But the longer she had gotten into her pregnancy, the less time they would spend together. And now, it genuinely felt as if he was avoiding her.

Cordelia was honestly going to take him with her on her next mission just so she could get an explanation. Whether he wanted to or not, he would accompany her and she would get answers. Void take him, she still cared about that bald headed hobo even if he was acting like this.

The other was something Dorian and Vivienne had spoken to her about. Dorian had remarked early on in her pregnancy when they had been transported to that horrible future that he could sense the baby having strong magical talent. His prediction had apparently not been off, because he said he still could sense the power now. Vivienne confirmed she too could sense high levels of magic from the baby. Even so young and newly born it was detectable. Vivienne remarked that it was probably the only time she was glad the rebellion had happened. Even at the Circle of Ostwick, the Templars might have made the exception to their policy and taken her away. And though she knew Vivienne had not meant to once again put her on edge or make her have a panic attack, well… Cullen might have been working from her desk in their quarters for a week afterwards because of the panic attack Cordelia had. For days she couldn't sleep out of fear that someone would come in the night and snatch the baby away. They had finally given her a sleeping draught, and Cullen and Cole were pretty much the two main residents in the room besides her.

Resuming her magical training could no longer be put off, as Corypheus and life would not kindly wait. It was also no good to wish she was a normal woman in Skyhold, as she was certain that she never would have made it this far had she not been the Inquisitor. She was certain she never would have been able to get Cullen’s attention, and this whole marriage of their’s would definitely never have occurred either.

So with a heavy reluctant heart, she went to train once more. Not that the baby was left alone or with a stranger. At least one person in the Inner Circle or a member of the Chargers was on guard in the room near the baby. But still, being separate from her daughter was painful and she found a new reason to become angry with Corypheus and his followers.

The idea of being separate from their daughter also was making it difficult to plan appropriately for the Winter Palace, because there was no way they would leave her behind in Skyhold. She might be safer there but Maker take them all, Cordelia could not bear the thought of being separated from her baby for a whole month. And though Cullen did not show it, he felt just as much against it. Neither of them could stay behind, and leaving her for that long was too much too bear.

She would be six months old when they were scheduled to go to the Winter Palace.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rampaging apologies at the end.

“You are coming to Halamshiral and that is final!”

Solas looked at her disapprovingly, but Cordelia was not going to budge with her decision. He was being stubborn, pig headed even, and could offer no reasonable excuse to not attend. “I need a mage that I can trust to stay back at the estate with Elisa, and this will give you more than an ample opportunity to measure any kind of abnormalities that she may or may not have due to the mark.”

“I am certain she is perfectly fine,” Solas said, his voice neutral but a slight shift in his posture kept her from believing.

“How would you know when you haven’t laid eyes on her once?” Cordelia countered. Six whole months and Solas had been unwilling to come within two rooms of distance if Elisa was close by. The Inquisitor was more than certain he was avoiding her. But for what purpose? Cole spoke in riddles before, but all he would tell her now is he couldn’t say anything. ‘A promise’ the boy swore, and then would teleport away.

A flash of something hit his eyes, but she couldn't tell what it was as it fled too quickly. “Solas, you are avoiding meeting my daughter. Don’t!” The order sharp as she held up her hand to stop the words that had no doubt been ready to tumble out of his open mouth. “Everyone in Skyhold can tell, so do  _ not _ deny it. You will neither explain to me your reasons for doing so, nor do you seem even remotely interested in maintaining the friendship I had though we had built. You wound me, hahren. Deeply. I expected better from you. Perhaps your actions towards me early on were just pity on a pregnant woman who was alone, and now that she is married and the baby has a father you feel like you are free to act like selfish ass of immeasurable proportions.”

He looked at her, his face blank. “Inquisi-”

“I’m not finished,” Cordelia continued, keeping a tight reign on her anger. “Since you wish to act as if we are not friends, then I will treat you as any normal member of the Inquisition. You are hereby ordered to travel with the rest of us to Halamshiral. Where you will remain part of my entourage unless you are watching and running tests upon my daughter. If you cannot agree to these terms, then I will have no choice but to have Ladies Holliday and Montilyet help find other arrangements for you away from Skyhold. Permanently.”

Then she turned and left, holding in her tears and shaking nerves until she was in Cullen’s office. 

Cullen took one look at her and quickly put down the report he was reading. Concern showed on his face as he approached her. “My love?” He asked softly and moved towards her. Cordelia threw up her hands in a halting motions before she sat down on the plush sofa Cullen had moved into there not long after Holliday’s prank.

Cullen stood there, watching her and waiting as she took a deep breath. “Solas has forced me into giving him an ultimatum,” she began shakily. Cullen poured her some water and handed her the goblet wordlessly, sensing she needed it without her having to say a word. “He would not provide me with any substantial reasoning why he should not go to Halamshiral, nor would he explain why he had repeatedly ignored my requests to examine Elisa for any signs of the mark’s magic. He once again tried to get out of going to Halamshiral, and I am tired of it. Six months, Cullen! Nine if you count the three he spent avoiding me during my pregnancy. And he had coerced poor Cole into keeping secrets from me as well.” That wounded her as much as his avoidance. It was bad enough that he had broken the friendship between himself and Cordelia, but to involve Cole...that was an outrage! 

She took a deep swig from the goblet, swallowing to calm her nerves before looking at him. “There is something he is hiding, Cullen,” she said determinedly. “Something he will not tell me and Maker preserve me, his actions are eroding my confidence in being able to trust him.”

“Shall I speak with him?” Cullen asked, but the brunette shook her head. “I doubt it would do much good,” Cordelia stated sadly. “And given how tomorrow we will ultimately see if he will be staying on with the Inquisition or be dismissed from it’s services, speaking with him seems a rather moot point.”

She held the glass out for Cullen to take. He did so, and she got to her feet as she tried to shake off her foreboding feelings. “I must go. I have a trainer to meet with, and reports of my own to go through. I’ll see you tonight for dinner.” She placed a quick kiss upon his lips, and Cullen slid his arm around her waist before she could disappear once more. Honey brown eyes gazed into darker ones, and he looked at her with silent understanding. Only her Commander could know her so well. “It will be all right, Cordelia,” he assured her. “Both the events at the Winter Palace, and with Elisa. You need to have faith.”

The woman closed her eyes and sighed. Cullen felt his heart ache for the fact that he was unable to convince her to lay her doubts aside. Yes, he had worries as well, but he had faith that everything would work out. It had worked so far, and he was more than certain it would continue to do so. However, convincing his wife was quite a different, much harder matter entirely.

“We still have Corypheus and his followers trying to destroy the world. Our daughter harbors potentially unheard of levels of power that would have caused the most pro-family of Ostwick’s templars to take her away after she was born, if Vivienne is to be believed. I still have no idea how I managed to survive uninjured from my first meeting with Corypheus and falling into that underground cavern. My memories are still missing and I-” she was drowning once more, but he was there to save her. 

Cullen kissed her with all the pent up passion he kept locked inside, cutting off her rant. It was always an effective trick, and it worked like charm. Even at the cost of discomfort in his trousers for a prolonged period of time. He kept her held against him, their lips and tongues dancing until she was relaxed and out of breath. 

“I hate the fact you are so good at that,” she muttered with a distracted smile. Cullen only chuckled as he held her for a few minutes more, savoring these few stolen moments with the woman he loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rough week. so rough. I am so sorry. Last Friday (April 1st for those who are reading this) was rough and although the days got better mother nature can go fuck herself. I am tired, aching and just BLARGH! Once again I am so sorry for this coming out late. I'll make it up to you guys by releasing a chapter of Nicky's story early okay? Also why the fuck did Amazon wait until I finally order a new controller to let me know they made Play & Charge cords for the 360? I did 5 different searches at regular intervals! I could have used my wireless 360 controller with the PC MONTHS ago and gotten so much farther with the PC version. *double birds to life*


End file.
